Palestinians return home in Gaza, but without their loved ones

In Gaza City, Palestine, Aya Hasouna looks gaunt and pale. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her voice is filled with sorrow. After months of displacement, she has returned to northern Gaza alone, along with tens of thousands of other Palestinians, hoping to rebuild her life.

Aya once had a happy family: her husband, Abdullah, and two children – four-year-old Hamza and two-year-old Raghad. However, on August 9th, Abdullah and the two children were tragically killed in an Israeli strike as they were preparing to go to the beach, seeking a temporary escape from the horrors of war. This event shattered Aya's world and left her grappling with immense grief.

Aya recalls a violent explosion and billowing smoke. When she came to her senses, she found her children lying on the ground, blood gushing from their heads. Abdullah, who had gone earlier to buy ingredients and snacks for making a cake, also perished. "Since then, I have been trying to be strong and endure the pain of separation," Aya said, "but everything around me reminds me of them."

According to the ceasefire agreement between Israel and Hamas, Aya returned to her home in the as-Saftawi neighborhood of Gaza City last week, a journey filled with painful memories. Abdullah had been longing to return home and had even prepared the clothes he would wear for the trip back. Aya carried her husband's and children's clothes, walking alone on the long road back north. "Sadness gnaws at my heart," Aya said, "Sometimes I cry. I see families walking happily together, parents and children. But I am all alone."

Aya eventually returned to her family's house and reunited with her mother, but she doesn't remember how long it took. Her mind is filled with the pain of losing her loved ones. Soon after, she decided to visit her war-torn home. She searched through the ruins for any old items that could serve as a memento, imagining finding her lost loved ones and reuniting with them. "What can I do? This is my fate."

Many who have returned to northern Gaza have experienced the same pain as Aya, returning home only to find they have lost loved ones. The Israeli war on Gaza has killed more than 61,700 Palestinians, including more than 17,400 children. The scale of loss has left deep scars on the community and a long road to recovery.

Jawaher Shabeer's son, Walid, is one of those who died. When the war began, they fled Gaza City together and moved to Rafah, the southernmost part of the Gaza Strip. Walid was Jawaher's eldest son, 26 years old, and a dutiful and considerate young man. It was his love for his mother and family that prompted Walid to leave the tent in Rafah at the end of Ramadan last April, seeking work to alleviate the famine facing his family.

"He found a job with a friend near Khan Yunis," Jawaher said. "He promised to bring back okra to cook." But Walid never returned. Jawaher learned that he had been shot and killed by Israeli forces in Khan Yunis. This tragic event compounded the suffering of Jawaher and her family.

This month has been incredibly long for Jawaher. She says she has lost the ability to speak. Instead, she imagines Walid in her mind, imagining him returning. Jawaher returned north with the rest of her family. But before leaving, she visited Walid's grave one last time. "I cry for Walid," Jawaher said, "How can I go back without him? Without Walid, this kind young man, my companion, how can I meet my daughters and granddaughters in Gaza City?" The absence of Walid will forever be felt by his family as they try to rebuild their lives amidst the devastation.