Rebuilding my home in Gaza as Trump wants me to leave

In Israa al-Sahahin's community in northern Gaza, electricity and internet access are severely limited, and Israeli bombing has destroyed much of the infrastructure. Despite this, news of US President Trump's plan to resettle Palestinians reached the area.

“You feel like you can't control your life… our lives seem cheap,” said Sahahin. She believes Trump's comments are provocative. But looking around, she has to admit that the land is indeed filled with "death and destruction."

The 23-year-old said that the community where she grew up is now almost unrecognizable. Nevertheless, she is determined to stay. Through a series of calls, videos, and messages, she told the BBC about her long journey home and the joy of reuniting with her fiancé—a joy she says outweighs the difficulties she faces in the north.

Israa, who is naturally introverted, found it difficult to adjust to living in crowded classrooms in central Gaza for months. "I prefer to stay at home, especially in my room, rather than go out or do anything. I like peace and quiet," she said. In the classrooms, "there is no peace, stability, or comfort." Therefore, when news of a fragile ceasefire agreement between Israel and Hamas came, Israa was delighted at the thought of returning to the community where she was born and raised, even though she had heard of the destruction there.

The war began the day after she graduated, when Hamas militants killed about 1,200 people in Israel and took 251 hostages. According to the Hamas-controlled health ministry, more than 47,500 people have been killed in Gaza in the ensuing Israeli offensive. The United Nations estimates that about two-thirds of Gaza's buildings have been destroyed or damaged.

Her fiancé had been working at a hospital in northern Gaza. She said that at first he chose not to leave, and later he was unable to leave. Days after the war began, the Israeli military ordered more than a million people to leave northern Gaza to fight Hamas gunmen, and more people were forced to evacuate in the months that followed. The Israeli military then established a corridor across Gaza, preventing people from returning to the north.

But the ceasefire agreement included a provision allowing displaced people to return to the north, so Israa packed her bags days before the crossing opened, waiting for permission to pass. On the morning of January 27, she picked up her phone and recorded a video. "Joy is beyond words," she said to the camera before setting off. "After a year and three months, we will return to our community."

The Gaza Strip is a small enclave, and Israa's journey home was only about 20 kilometers from Deir al-Balah. But the crowded conditions and rugged terrain meant it would be difficult, taking seven hours—first by car, then on foot, and then by car again. She first drove as close as possible to Rashid Street along the coast, where a sea of people was heading north—the only place people could walk.

After more than a year of displacement, thousands of displaced Palestinians are returning to their communities in northern Gaza. Small children were taken along with whatever possessions people could carry. Strollers were filled with supplies and pushed through mounds of earth. "Until halfway through the journey, people were happy, singing and stuff, but when the time was too long, people became frustrated," Israa later said. "It was too long and too tiring."

In a video taken during the journey, Israa said that if the scenery in central Gaza was like this, she "can't imagine what we will see in the north, and what kind of destruction there will be." The crowd eventually reached a sign that read "Gaza Welcomes You," indicating that they had arrived in Gaza City. "Finally. Thank God. Thank God," she said in a recording of the journey. "The destruction is indescribable. Mixed feelings, but joy prevails."

Israa's fiancé, Mohammed, greeted her return with a bouquet of flowers. She threw herself into his arms and cried, and then he drove her back to their community, listening to a song about lovers reuniting. "'Welcome to Gaza.' Finally. Thank God." "That feeling—we needed it," she recalled of the reunion.

As they drove home, she saw that most of her community was in ruins. "I remember all the details of it—its streets and houses," she later said in a phone call. Now "I can't recognize these places, and I can't recognize the houses and streets. I can't recognize anything. The community is like a pile of stones."

Israa's three-room family apartment on the first floor is still intact, although the doors and windows have been blown out. The other floors of the building have been destroyed. The community was an early target of Israeli military operations, which Israel said were aimed at destroying Hamas. A large building nearby was razed to the ground in the weeks after the war began, and more destroyed buildings and craters can be seen in satellite images of the area from the first months of the war.

During a storm this week, the plastic sheeting covering the open space of Israa's apartment was blown down. She and her relatives wrapped themselves in blankets to try to keep warm. The house was looted while the family was away, and Israa said there was no furniture left. Her beloved camera, its three lenses, and her laptop were also gone. "I left them in the north, thinking I would come back and get them," she said.

The family lit a bonfire to try to drive away the insects that now infest the apartment. They brought gas canisters from the south so they could continue cooking. She said it was difficult to go to the market to buy food because many roads are now impassable. Some people, after seeing the destruction, have returned to their tents or displaced persons buildings in the south, believing that the north is uninhabitable.

The United Nations Environment Programme has warned that it could take 21 years to clear and dispose of all the debris left by Israeli bombing. There are concerns about sanitation, as well as the supply of basic services and supplies, especially in northern Gaza.

Israa agreed that life in the south was easier. Sometimes she misses the crowded classrooms, where "at least there were windows." But she said she has "no thoughts of going back." "There is no water, no electricity, no internet, but this (joy of returning home) is greater than all of this," she said. "We will stay and we will rebuild our homes."