Mosaic headstones help people work through grief for lost loved ones

2025-03-16 02:16:00

Abstract: Barkandji woman restarts mosaic headstone project, Paaka Thartu Karnu, after son's death. It aids Aboriginal grief, brightens cemetery, and could expand.

In a remote cemetery in New South Wales, Australia, the weather is dry and the temperature reaches 34 degrees Celsius. Monica Kerwin stares at a gravesite she had hoped never to see. Three years ago, this 55-year-old Barkandji woman from Wilcannia experienced an unimaginable tragedy when her son took his own life.

Although Ms. Kerwin's parents, grandparents, siblings, and uncles are all buried in this cemetery, she says this loss is far more painful than any before. "Every day, I sit on the back veranda and cry and cry," Ms. Kerwin said. "It's too hard to accept... I still can't accept it, and I don't think anyone can easily accept the loss of someone they love so much."

Ms. Kerwin's grieving process is different from most. She is using her own hands and a large amount of broken tiles to ensure that her son's vibrant smile and passion for rugby league are never forgotten. Ms. Kerwin is one of the founders of Paaka Thartu Karnu, a grassroots community project that teaches Aboriginal people mosaic art so they can create personalized and affordable headstones for deceased loved ones, some of whom have never had a headstone before.

The project was founded in 2018, but it has been on hold for the past few years after Ms. Kerwin and another founder, Kelvin Thornycroft, both lost close family members. But Ms. Kerwin said that using her project to manage grief has, over time, inspired her to restart the service that has helped so many people. "It's special because you take a tile, something that's already been created, and then you smash it into 20 pieces and put it back together," she said. "I feel like it represents your brokenness over the loss of a loved one, but you're reconnecting the pieces, trying to heal yourself."

Since its inception six years ago, dozens of brightly colored headstones have adorned the Wilcannia cemetery. "I like going to the cemetery and seeing these mosaic headstones that people have made over the past few years, they look really good and brighten up the cemetery," said Steven Harris, a local Barkandji man. While Mr. Thornycroft will not be returning to the project full-time, Ms. Kerwin has his full support as the sole operator. Mr. Harris, who made headstones for his parents through the initial 10-week workshop, said he is also very happy to see the project restart. "Making the headstones makes you feel very, very proud... I don't want to give it up," Mr. Harris said. "I did a few more (after that), and if they start up again, I'll jump straight in and be very happy to help."

Gregory Phillips, an adjunct professor of Indigenous health at Griffith University's School of Medicine, is also an admirer of how the project improves the mental health of local Aboriginal people, especially in relation to death. The Waanyi and Jaru man said: "Colonization means our death rates are much higher than the general population and at a younger age, so Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander funerals are generally much more numerous. Any way that a community can deal with grief in a ritualized or positive way helps with healing and recovery."

In addition to reviving the project in Wilcannia, Ms. Kerwin also dreams of developing the project further, including installing concrete slabs next to the headstones and sharing the project with other Aboriginal communities. While she and Mr. Thornycroft received positive responses when they showcased the project to small groups in Menindee and Kempsey before the pandemic, she says financial support is needed to make it a reality. "I want to see it go all over Australia... a lot of Aboriginal communities need this project," she said.

Dr. Phillips said he believes Paaka Thartu Karnu has the potential to go national, but that ultimately depends on finding the right partners. "One of the risks of government funding is that they want to take over and own it," he said. "So if the community can find a way to partner with government, charities or corporate partners to ensure it remains a community-based and community-run project, I think that will be its strength."