I personally would never consider participating in a reality TV show. Perhaps "Gogglebox" might be an exception, because like most Australians, I fancy myself as an undiscovered stand-up comedian, and the job can be done sitting on the couch eating chips. I was practically born for it. Maybe I would even bring my own dip.
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03-14, 2025But other reality shows are definitely out, especially that infrequently aired parent-child competition show, "Parental Guidance," which my son keeps urging us to join. The show features families with different parenting philosophies competing to be recognized as having the best approach to raising children. These parenting styles include authoritative, free-range, spiritual, and "team" styles, each with its own characteristics and advantages. But what they all have in common is that parenting and engagement with their children are the central focus of their lives.
In contrast to them, my generation's family life was one where busy parents kicked you out of the house after breakfast and didn't expect to see you again until dinner. They would be bewildered if you expected them to provide not only room and board, but also advice, entertainment, comfort, and "snowplow" assistance. This parenting style would have been seen as indulgent, incompetent, and absurd by those in the past, when procreation was simply about creating more people until they left home and continued to procreate. This difference highlights the evolving expectations placed on parents.
A new Pew Research Center survey in the United States shows that many parents are indeed highly involved in the lives of their adult children, but the vast majority of both parents and children are very satisfied with this arrangement. The survey also indicates that even with these close ties to their parents, these children are still able to achieve certain independence milestones. Technological advancements, changing gender roles, and the rejection of authoritarian parenting styles have all contributed to this shift.
Parenting has now become a complete lifestyle. It's a choice, and it's a way to build a close connection with the people you create, because if all goes well, it brings mutual joy and intimacy. This is also why many people choose not to have children: not only because of the high costs, but also because the expectation now is for a continuous, close, and involved life experience, which is not for everyone. The level of dedication required for modern parenting is substantial.
Admittedly, there is an unhealthy side to over-involved parenting, but it would be disingenuous to ignore the economic realities that underpin this radical change in parenting styles. In the past, I could leave home penniless at 19 and support myself with three part-time shifts at Woolworths. That was because mortgage or rental payments accounted for only about 30% of my income, and I was earning a meager wage. Now, household debt to income is around 190%, an increase of 850% in my lifetime. The financial pressures on young adults today are significantly greater.
The Pew Research record shows that parents like their children and find it enjoyable to be with them. The children say they value the advice and life experience their parents share. All of this sounds more like an older, pre-baby boomer way of growing up, when generations lived together and helped each other thrive. If the alternative is a steadfast and loving parent who is always on your side and always willing to have coffee, do yoga, and offer advice, it's hard to see what's so bad about that. This supportive environment can be incredibly beneficial.
