Twice engaged, twice bereaved: Palestinian loses two fiances in Israeli strikes

On the morning after her engagement, Sondos Abbas's fiancé called her, inviting her to his house that afternoon to meet his family for the first time and share the Iftar meal together. The young Palestinian woman carefully selected a pink chiffon shirt and a pair of black Charleston trousers, which she had specifically purchased for the occasion, and she got dressed up, waiting for him to pick her up, eager to make a good impression.

However, when her fiancé didn't show up, and his phone went unanswered, Abbas began to feel worried, yet she still held onto her handbag, continuing to wait for him. Several hours later, her cousin called and said: "Your fiancé has become a martyr."

Abbas's fiancé, Mahmoud al-Shobaki, was killed in an Israeli airstrike. At the time, he was traveling with friends in a vehicle, transporting plastic chairs for a charity event to provide Ramadan Iftar meals for the impoverished people of Gaza. While there are thousands of women in Gaza like her who have lost their partners in Israel's indiscriminate bombings, Abbas's story stands out due to its unique circumstances.

This is the second fiancé she has lost since Israel launched its war on the Gaza Strip. Abbas's first engagement was before the start of the war, specifically on August 27, 2023, and her fiancé was Ahmed Abuhassira. The young couple had already set their wedding date for October 23, 2023. "The last time I saw him was on October 6, 2023, and then the war started the next day, and I didn't get to see him again until he died on October 26, 2023," 20-year-old Abbas told Middle East Eye.

Abbas learned about her fiancé's death through the news, when an Israeli airstrike targeted his residence. "I was watching Al Jazeera, and I saw on the news ticker that the Abuhassira family's house had been bombed. They were describing the location of my fiancé's residence," she recalled. "Later, I learned that my fiancé and his entire family had been killed in an airstrike that completely destroyed their home in western Gaza."

As Israel's blockade and bombings intensified, Abbas secluded herself for several months, and her relatives and friends assumed that she was struggling with depression. However, during this year's Ramadan, Abbas began attending the Taraweeh prayers at the mosque, which are voluntary nightly prayers performed during the holy month. There, a woman who would later become her mother-in-law noticed her and was impressed by her. "A few days later, she visited my house and asked me if I would be willing to marry her son. I met him, we talked, and I accepted his proposal," Abbas said.

"I told him about the immense grief I had experienced, and he promised to make up for everything I had lost and everything I had gone through. He told me that he wished he had met me sooner." Abbas and Shobaki signed their marriage contract, known as "Katb al-Kitab," which is a custom among couples in Palestine and some Islamic countries. Abbas's family organized a small gathering to celebrate the engagement, during which Shobaki and some family members presented the "mahr," which is a dowry given by the groom to the bride, usually in the form of cash.

Shobaki came home late and called Abbas first thing in the morning after waking up. "He called me at around 10 a.m., asking me to get ready to have Iftar with his family that day. I got dressed up, eagerly waiting for him to call me to tell me he had arrived to pick me up, but it was already past 3:15 p.m., and he hadn't called yet," Abbas said. "I tried calling him multiple times, but his phone was unreachable, so I sent a message to his mother, asking about him, but she didn't reply."

"I kept trying to contact him until my cousin called me to tell me that he had been killed." Abbas later learned that Shobaki had been killed at 10:30 a.m., just half an hour after he spoke with Abbas. "I was preparing my clothes, happily getting ready, wearing my best clothes, waiting for him, while he had already been dead for several hours," she explained. Instead of going to his house to have Iftar with him, Abbas went there alone to offer her condolences to her new in-laws. "When his mother saw me, she broke down in tears and hugged me tightly, saying, 'The light in my eyes has gone out... please don't leave us.'"

Having lost two fiancés in such a short period of time, Abbas now feels deeply afraid of the idea of getting engaged again. "I have lost two fiancés in this war. I don't think I dare to commit to anyone again," she told MEE. "I'm afraid that this is my fate, that I will lose any partner I commit to, and that any young man I get engaged to will also be killed."