House prices and mortgage costs: Why adult kids can't leave home

Rising energy prices, rents soaring by 9% annually, and house prices near record highs are leading more and more young adults in their 20s to remain living with their parents. This situation is particularly prevalent among adult sons living with their mothers. But is this lifestyle really viable?

“He pays us rent, he’s very sensible and contributes to the household,” says Anne Thompson about her son Will. However, she also admits he’s not perfect, “I’m still doing his laundry.” Will, who is about to turn 25, says living with his mother has been okay, but he is eager to move out and live independently, though house prices in their area of Cornwall are too high. “I want to do my own thing, but Covid didn’t help us,” he says. Before the pandemic, he had his eye on a flat, but after lockdowns, coastal and rural properties became more desirable, and rents tripled.

Young, single adults say they are struggling to find affordable rental or purchase options even when they are frugal. This frustration is felt across the UK. This situation has also led to more people being unable to leave home. A recent report by the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) showed that the proportion of 25- to 34-year-olds living with their parents has increased by more than a third in nearly two decades. Men are more likely than women to live with their parents, with almost a quarter of men in this age group failing to live independently, and the growth is most pronounced among men in their 20s. Bee Boileau, a research economist at the IFS, said that some people had returned home due to economic shocks, but many simply cannot afford to live independently.

Kieran Fifield, an NHS executive, is among them. “My house is open house!” he says. He and his brother live with their mother, Tracey, their father having died in 2022. “My mum will do anything to keep us here,” he says of their strong family bond and his mother's refusal to charge rent. His girlfriend comes to stay at the weekends, which is fine “because it’s not the 1990s,” he says. Covid was also a factor, having lived in university halls for five months, but the pandemic forced them to temporarily close, and he had to return home to complete his studies. The cost of rent in the south coast of England means he has never left. “It would take half of our income, making it harder to save for our own place,” he says.

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) said on Friday it would consider relaxing strict lending rules to help first-time buyers and others get on the housing ladder. Apart from economic factors, how do these 20-somethings avoid their parents restricting their freedom under the same roof? Will Thompson admits there can be friction. He says his mum thinks the kitchen is her domain. Anne says he runs the risk of “being a teenager forever,” but Will says she still asks where he’s going and who he’s going with. “Parents love you unconditionally, but they do worry,” he says. Kieran Fifield says he has had to accept that he is living in his mother’s house, so he cannot impose his own designs and imprint anywhere outside his room. Overall, they all see it as a positive experience, although it is not one they have actively chosen.

Others have also told the BBC how they have made the arrangement work. One woman said she had lived with her mother for five years, achieving a balance by maintaining her freedom and watching movies together. Another man said that this compromise was the only realistic way for him to save a deposit for his own house. Such deposits can be tens of thousands of pounds, and a recent survey by Barclays Bank shows that more and more young adults who do leave home still need financial help from their parents. The survey showed that almost six in ten renters believe they would be unable to buy a house without an inheritance or a loan from a family member. So, it seems that many who do successfully leave home still need their parents’ help to buy their own place.