Sthal: The Indian film showing the bride's 'humiliation' in arranged marriage

In India, most marriages are arranged by families. However, for many women and their families, this traditional matchmaking process can be fraught with hardship and challenges, even being seen as a form of torment. This is a complex issue rooted in cultural norms and societal expectations.

The film "Sthal: A Match" (meaning "Situation: A Match") is set against this backdrop, telling the story of the plight of women in Indian society during the matchmaking process. This Marathi film, released in 2023, has won numerous awards at domestic and international film festivals for its profound realism and will be released in India for the first time this Friday. Its realistic portrayal of the struggles faced by women resonates with audiences.

The film's story takes place in the rural region of Maharashtra, where the protagonist, Savita, is a young woman who aspires to receive an education and pursue a career. However, under the influence of a patriarchal society, her father, Daulat Rao Wandhare, a poor cotton farmer, is determined to find a "good" husband for his daughter. "He wants to get a good price for his cotton and also wants his daughter to marry into a good family," explains director Jayant Digambar Somalkar. This highlights the conflicting desires of the father and the societal pressures he faces.

Unlike other Indian films that romanticize arranged marriages, "Sthal" unflinchingly portrays the "very humiliating" experiences that many young women undergo during the matchmaking process. What is even more noteworthy is that all the actors in the film were selected from the village where it was shot, and they are all newcomers making their acting debut. Nandini Chikte, who plays Savita, has already won two awards for her outstanding performance. Her performance brings authenticity to the character and the story.

The film opens with a scene of Savita interviewing a potential groom in a dream. In the dream, she and her female relatives watch as the young man serves them tea. They laugh when he makes mistakes in his questions due to nervousness. However, after waking up, Savita is told to get ready because a group of men is coming to see her for matchmaking. In reality, the gender roles are completely reversed, and Savita's humiliation is even more pronounced. The prospective groom and his family are welcomed by Savita's father and male relatives. After refreshments and introductions, Savita is called out. Dressed in a sari, with her eyes lowered, she sits on a wooden stool facing her "interrogators." Questions come one after another: What is your name? Full name? Mother's family? Date of birth? Height? Education? Profession? Hobbies? Are you willing to work on the farm? The men step aside to discuss. "She's a little dark." "She's wearing makeup, but didn't you see her elbows? That's her real skin tone." "She's also short." Others nod in agreement. They leave, telling Daulat Rao that they will reply with their decision in a few days. According to Savita's parents, "this is the fourth or fifth time someone has come to see Savita" - all previous meetings have ended in rejection, leading to heartbreak and despair. This scene realistically reflects the current state of Indian society: men often have many demands regarding the bride's appearance, and newspaper marriage advertisements and matchmaking websites are filled with desires for tall, fair-skinned, and beautiful brides. Savita's protests - "I don't want to get married, I want to finish college first, then take the civil service exam and build my own career" - carry no weight in her rural community, where marriage is considered the only worthwhile goal for young women. The scene highlights the societal pressures and limited choices available to women.

Chikte said in an interview with the BBC: "Marriage is given too much importance in our society. Parents think that once their daughter is married, they can get rid of their responsibilities. It's time to change this perception." She also said that she felt "very humiliated" that Savita was forced to sit on a stool and be judged by men who discussed her skin tone, while there was no discussion about the prospective groom. "I was just acting, but as the film progressed, I experienced Savita's journey, and I felt angry for her. I felt insulted and disrespected." This underscores the emotional toll of the matchmaking process on women.

The film also touches on the social evil of dowry, where the bride's family gives cash, clothes, and jewelry to the groom's family. Although this custom has been banned in India for over 60 years, dowry remains prevalent in Indian weddings. To meet dowry demands, the girl's parents may even take out huge loans or even sell land and houses. Even then, this does not necessarily guarantee the bride a happy life, as thousands of brides are killed by the groom or his family every year for insufficient dowry. In the film, Daulat Rao also puts up a "For Sale" sign on his land, even though agriculture is his only source of livelihood. This highlights the economic burden and dangers associated with dowry.

Director Somalkar said that the idea for his debut film came from his own experiences. Growing up with two sisters and five female cousins, he witnessed prospective grooms visiting his home. "As a child, you don't question tradition," he said. The turning point came in 2016, when he accompanied a male cousin to a matchmaking meeting. "It was the first time I was on the other side. When the lady came out and sat on the stool and was asked questions, I felt a little uncomfortable. When we went outside to discuss, I felt that the conversation about her height and skin tone was objectifying her." When he discussed this with his then-fiancée (now his wife), she encouraged him to explore the issue in his work. This personal connection adds depth and authenticity to the film.

In India, 90% of marriages are still arranged by families. "Sthal" is not the first film to touch on this topic. IMDB lists nearly 30 films about arranged marriages produced by Bollywood and regional film industries in the past two decades. More recently, the popular Netflix show "Indian Matchmaking" focuses entirely on the process of finding the perfect partner. However, as Somalkar points out, "weddings are over-glamorized on screen." "When we think of Indian weddings, we think of grand weddings full of fun and glamour. We think of 'Hum Aapke Hain Koun'," he said, referring to the 1990s Bollywood blockbuster that celebrated Indian wedding traditions. "And Netflix's show only focuses on a specific class of people, those who are wealthy and educated, and women who can exercise their right to choose. But for most Indians, the reality is very different, and parents often go through hell to get their daughters married," he added. This highlights the disparity between the romanticized portrayal of arranged marriages and the harsh realities faced by many families.

He said that he made "Sthal" to "awaken society and the audience from their complacency." "I want to start a debate and encourage people to think about a process that objectifies women and leaves them with little freedom to choose between marriage and career," he said. "I know that a book or a film will not change society overnight, but it can be a start." This reflects the director's hope that the film will spark meaningful conversations and contribute to positive social change.